by thy self

i

Individualism, alone, loneliness, selfish and many other terms, which capture the element of one’s self being projected, as a priority over other beings is the idea behind this post. Of late I don’t look forward for company as I used to, I like being alone, a loner if u may. I have started to enjoy thing by my self and do not seek others approval or their attention as I used. Guess I am bored or just don’t care about the people around me anymore and have to develop other way to keep myself amused and that I have achieved by not going to another set of people but I have started to realize the ‘joy of being alone’. I do not speak to many people, I actually don’t like to, I have barely had a decent conversation with my parents which lasted more than 10 mins in a long time, my siblings too, we make small talk, but nothing that gives away the true self. Friends, my moral support?, used to be, but no longer. I some how have cut down the number of friends I have. Acquaintance is the word to be used. I speak to lets say three to four people in a day, when I do not meet those four, will have to do with “hi and hellos” from neighbours. And back at race-track, I do have friends, that do matter, I guess when I’m back home I also enjoy being with company. [yes, I stay away from home in place I call the ‘shit-hole’, but of late its not that bad] I don’t mind eating alone, walking alone or even going out by myself. I have fancied the idea backpacking through Germany and Thailand by myself. I am not declaring that I do not want company, but I have understood the joy of being alone and under the present circumstances I like being alone rather than with others.

I don’t aim to achieve some mind-bogging theory in ‘my’ time or do not intend to, I reflect on life mostly and dream of things I like [mostly food, cars and formula 1]. I sleep and a lot and actually don that many thing, but whatever I do alone gives me more satisfaction these days.

[I’ve more to say but less time and hence this post will be completed in sometime to come]